one. met up with the ol gang again at nabil's place. fun, photos and food. it was all happening that night. so much for losing touch with my old friends. the swiss machine is alive and well.
two. visited pet's lot at the cannery. noted: flea's intelligence was repeatedly insulted. plenty of wares but no guppies. books: tibet, vietnam, self-help, sweet valley.
three. spawnasia is very nice. very nice indeed. a proper visit is on the cards.
four. applications all done. season's greetings, everyone.
five. trip to kuala lumpur: akan datang. in theatres, 2nd jan.
six. finally got my drums. my life is now complete. and my neighbours receive complimentary earmuffs.
seven. i had a dream last night about vampires. they wanted my blood but it was too sweet for them. apparently, they're the diabetic sort of vampires. gee. times really must be hard. even the monsters in my dreams are worried about their healthcare plans.
eight. i discovered something very disturbing by accident the other day. see what happens when you make a typo and try to go to www.blogpsot.com. they are among us and there is no escape.
nine. oh, and with respect to the above, i'd like to go on record as giving credit to flea for forcing me to accredit her with something to do with the aforementioned above.
ten. it'll be a new year in a few hours. good luck to everyone trying to stick to their resolutions for once. and even better luck to those on the verge of realising that it's an impossible feat.

for those of you who need a fix after watching every single episode of 'strong bad's email' a gazillion and a half times a day and still can't get enough.. here we go again.
presenting.. MARITESS VS THE SUPERFRIENDS!

road to perdition:

Michael Sullivan Jr: So when do I get my share of the money?
Michael Sullivan: How much do you want?
Michael Sullivan Jr: Two hundred dollars!
Michael Sullivan: Okay. Deal.
Michael Sullivan Jr: Could I have had more?
Michael Sullivan: You'll never know.

Michael Sullivan: He murdered Annie and Peter!
John Rooney: There are only murderers in this room! Michael! Open your eyes! This is the life we chose, the life we lead. And there is only one guarantee: none of us will see heaven.
Michael Sullivan: Michael could.
John Rooney: Then do everything that you can to see that that happens.

my brother told me about this site and it's the funniest thing i've seen in a long, long while.

merry christmas, one and all.

bah. i think my mind is dying by the day. i can't even spell right now. i have to spell phonetically and thus, 'hear' becomes 'here' and 'one' somehow becomes 'own'. which might have actually been a typo from trying to spell 'won.' there. that proves it. two mistakes in a three-letter word. my life is thus forfeit.

university applications: so much for the season to be jolly.

on an unrelated note, some historical trivia:

william (the bastard) crossed the english channel in 1066 to claim the (then newly vacated) english throne. as he landed on english soil, william tripped and fell forward on his hands. a loud cry went out in fear this evil omen, but william called out, "see, my lords, i have by the grace of god taken possession of england with both of my hands."

making the best of a bad moment. it'd make a great mentos ad.

i'm on the verge of being called up and getting a earful from the equal rights association, i reckon. so i'm gonna make sure my next post has something to do with great women.

related to my comment-conversations with pet:

four noble truths from buddha's enlightenment

1. 'the truth of pain' because pain and suffering are universal
2. 'the truth of the cause of pain' which is desire
3. 'the truth of cessation of pain' by ceasing to desire
4. 'the truth of the way that leads to the cessation of pain' which is the middle way between worldly pursuits and extreme asceticism

and

with a pot of wine among the flowers,
all alone i drink - no dear ones at my side.
raising my cup, i invite the bright moon
to make with my shadow, a group of three.
but the moon does not know how to drink,
and the shadow vainly follows me around.
for a while, with moon and shadow as companions,
i would seek pleasure while it is spring
i sing and the moon rambles;
i dance and the shadow runs helter-skelter.
while sober, we enjoy ourselves together;
after drinking, we part with each other.
forever, we'll pledge a non-sentimental journey,
awaiting each other at the distant milky way.

-from 'drinking alone under the moon' by li po.

i've read some du fu and basho, but li po's works stood out, in my opinion.

i got back yesterday morning. my body clock's still a bit screwy. 2.30am is midnight for me.

a little research can tell you amazing things. apparently, the golden rule of almost all religions:

"is not reciprocity such a word? what you do not want done to yourself, do not to others."
- confucius, analects

"no man is a true believer unless he desireth for his brother that which he desireth for himself."
-prophet muhammad

"i will cease to live as a self, and will take as my self, my fellow creatures."
-santiveda, buddhist guru

"he who hath compassion upon others receives compassion from heaven."
-talmud, shabbat 131

"deal with others as thou wouldst thyself be dealt by. do nothing to thy neighbour which thou wouldst not have him do to thee thereafter."
-mahabharata

"nature only is good when it shall not do unto another whatever is not good for its own self."
-dadastan-i dinik, zend-avesta, zoroastrian sacred text

"as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."
-luke 6:31

who says they've all got nothing in common?

here's a list of places i'd like to visit before i die, of which i've been to only one already (the taj mahal):

great pyramids in giza, egypt
the parthenon that sits atop the acropolis in greece
the stupa in sanchi, india, built by asoka
the flavian amphitheatre [or more commonly known as the roman colosseum, due to the giant statue of nero that stood outside it (greek word for statue is colossal, i think)], in rome, italy
the pyramid of the sun in teotihuacan, mexico
the hagia sophia (or church of holy wisdom) in istanbul (known in the olden days as constantinople), turkey
the horyu-ji monastery complex in nara, japan
the kailasanatha temple in ellora, india
the great mosque of cordoba in cordoba, spain
the angkor wat at angkor, cambodia
the taj mahal, at agra, india
the chartres cathedral in chartres, france
the st. peter's basilica in the vatican city, rome, italy
the great wall of china in.. uh.. china.

has anyone got a ten thousand bucks to spare? i'm a little short of time here.

i've been reading philosophy and history on my trip and i've come across alot of stuff i found interesting. philosophy's a great thing to drown yourself in if you've got time to spare (which i do, now) and i'm hooked.

i realised i'm more or less an epicurean, which is follower of a particular greek way of life (the others being stoics and cynics). epicureans are sensualists or people who love the good life. they take the middle path, avoid extreme emotions, ignore the world around them and look inward for peace. i'm surely not the best judge of my own character, but that's the closest classification i can find. the stoics are much to involved in the natural law of life (to let everything be as they are) and the cynics are too ascetic.

this quote has had me thinking for some time now and i think it's one of the best ones i've read up so far:
"once upon a time, i, chuang-tzu, dreamt i was a butterfly, fluttering happily like a butterfly. i was concious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that i was chuang-tzu. suddenly i awakened, and there i lay, myself again. now, i do not know if whether i was then a man dreaming i was a butterfly, or whether i am now a butterfly dreaming i am a man."

another one:
"grasping without hands, hasting without feet, he sees without eyes, he hears without ears. he knows what can be known, but no one knows him." -from the upanishads, an ancient hindu text. i've come to the conclusion that it speaks of god.

i'm away till the 24th of this month. i've gone to india to meet all my relatives before they die. (in the words of my ma.) so expect updates to be few and far between. i'm in bangalore right now, in case you're wondering. the weather's like cali in winter.. cool, sunny and it's killing my lips.

anyway, i expected this trip to be just like the old testament. migration from singapore to india (the promised land, where i was born, but am no longer a citizen). sojourn in bangalore. ends in oppression and slavery. exodus on the 24th. journey back to singapore. god will reveal himself to me and give me the law. ("stay far away from there!") however, i think i'm gonna just shut my mouth and enjoy it. i'm sure there's plenty to see and do and food here is dirt cheap, so i'm gonna dine like a king.

reminds me of some of the history stuff i've been reading on the trip so far. a quote from leonidas, the spartan king, when he stayed overnight with a small group of his men to act as a rearguard for his retreating troops. they had just fennded of an attack by xerxes, the persian, and his army of the ten thousand immortals. "have a good breakfast, men," he said. "we'll dine in hades tonight." expectedly, he and his men fought valiantly and perished. a true greek tragedy.

i've got a nasty cold. i hope it doesn't ruin my thursday.

i need sleep, but my body clock seems to follow greenwich more than the clock sitting on my table.

goodbye, sui. gonna miss you, man. great times we've had, but even the biggest show on broadway must end its run some day. keep in touch. there's still much to be said and more laughter to bring. you wouldn't mind some canal air now, wouldn't you? i wouldn't.

her eyes close and her lips curl upward,
she's not listening to the song anymore.
her feet still match mine, step for step,
she's still with me, but no longer unsure.
-idle fancy; 111200

"one bitter mistake and you depart with my breath,
speechless, thoughtless, and in many ways bereft
of something i used to respect; me;
for being a gentleman in a world that doesn't believe."
-excerpt from an untitled poem, 020101

"my greatest weakness is the conviction i have that i have too many."
-from a note written to myself to be read (like in a time capsule) in sec 4

tut. speak no more. i'm not listening anymore.
i lost my presence the second you came through that door.
spare me one now for you've caught me almost unaware,
i've to find my charms, they're all some other where.
it feels like i know you from somewhere before, all the same
i remember the face, but i can't place the name.
i've questions to ask of you now, i listen with a keen ear;
it's your voice that matters, and not the answers i hear.
sweet words you whisper and your lips move not.
a pause. a breath. of which i'm now short.
gasping for air, i'm drowning in your fiery spark
you light my sighs to save me from the dark.
one moment of weakness. you sense it as well.
a stranger. a fantasy. fate's mysterious ways.
i touch your hair and run my finger down your face.
my palm opens to cradle your head.
it's beyond even pleasure now.
our lips embrace.
a moment.
and you
depart.

-written for maria. she asked me to write something about kissing. i don't think i ever showed this to her.

retrospect.

may the road rise to meet you,
may the wind be always at your back,
may the sun shine warm upon your face,
may the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may god hold you in the palm of his hand.
-email to maria

"calm is not life's crown, though calm is well. tis all perhaps that man requires, but tis not what our youth desires."
-matthew arnold (1822-1888), courtesy of carol

the wailing violins gradually fade into the background
and the lights flicker, dim and die away with no sound
i pack my bag of bittersweet memories and make to leave
but you stay me with your touch and move me to believe
that tears we've shared weren't a wasted cause for us
they were lost tears of a weeping willow, now burnt to dust
ashes in the fall, a song i used to hum in my head
to keep me awake as i lay asleep in my summer bed
god's winter has arrived and the unforgiven seek judgement
for Sins Original and Sins Unavoidable, all heavensent
i'm a victim of the latter; subliminally a criminal
the pain we share is eternal but the suffering, minimal
burnt from the insides, love dampens a fiery man's heart
stop. i try to pull it together, but am still torn apart
at the peak of my week, with precision, i begin to fall
like clockwork, i'm never let down by fate at all
i tumble, roll and hit the ground hard enough to kill
but i live every time as a prank, under his loving will
you need me to need you, but that's asking too much of me
there's only so much i can do to change the way you feel
if for once i'd be a star in your night. when i feel no pain,
i'd disappear into the night, and with any luck,
never be seen again.
- 13/10/00

on history:
we created seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and years to give us control over something whose complexity we cannot even fathom.
history is the study of time, events and their relation. it is a powerful tool that can easily influence the minds of the masses.
history and fact are not often one and the same. every single detail of history is an extension of a personal account and so, is almost certainly biased by the emotions and opinions of the witness. an unbiased account of history, or 'pure' history, is an impossibility. one wonders if privacy (or the right to withhold information) and 'pure' history are mutually exclusive.

update (on 171202)

i realised after coming across some stuff on the jainist religions that there is thing concept of logic that the have which reads as follows: "all human knowledge is relative and transient. nothing is either absolutely true nor absolutely false. everything the human mind concludes is thus true and false simultaneously.all human thought is always logically incomplete or logically fallacious."

this was surprising in that the processes involved in jainist logic are essentially the same as those which i followed in making my own deduction of the value of history.

another quote i came across, from polybius, a greek author: "for it is history alone, without involving us in actual danger, that will mature our judgement and prepare us to take right views, whatever may be the crisis or the posture of affairs." it sums up the purpose of experience and learning from others' mistakes well, too.

my damn internet connection is down so i'm using narrowband to do this. i'm using this as an excuse to post infrequently. so there.

prom for me was tremendous. my thoughts in the order they come to me:

denise was gorgeous. i had no idea what she was going to wear because she wanted to surprise me, but it really was gorgeous. it went really well with the necklace i'd gotten her, which made it all the more brilliant. she made it a night i'll not soon forget and for that, i thank her.

abiel and michelle. i expected it and it was almost inevitable, actually, contrary to what most would have felt. they make a great couple and they looked awesome that night. cheers to them.

alleybar. great convo, good laughs, and mediocre drinks. well, i'm sure they've got great drinks, but we couldn't afford any. the walk down orchard road was great fun as well. kelvin and his bottle-spinning, sui and his spirit-fingers, ben and his babes.. we made a long walk both short and sweet.

maria.i bumped into her outside the ballroom and we got to talking. it's strange how i've thought for two whole years that she's changed and that she's never be the same again. all it took was ten minutes of conversation for me to realise she's essentially still the same person i knew in sec 3. i do miss her. she's a great friend and i hope we can stay in touch this time.

the class. we had great fun in the room, dressing up before and letting loose after. i surely will miss the whole class, but it's not quite hit me as yet.

ee kean. two years later and i realise how wonderful a person she is. she won court jestress but she's more than just a source of laughter in my class and school. she's a really nice person; unassuming and unbelievably interesting. i got her a dreamcatcher for xmas. she's someone with plenty of dreams and a remarkable gift of the gab (and sense of humour), but her jokes might work against her and give people an impression, in the long run, that she's incapable of being taken seriously. it's a painful trap to fall into. i pray she does well to avoid it.

william. for the good taste in clothes.

ashok and ben. for the funniest photoshoot ever conjured up. you guys are brilliant comedians.

well.. that's all i can think of right now. i'll put up more stuff as i remember them.

i'm really looking forward to the next three months, before i'm enlisted for national service. i'll be going into the naval diving unit at sembawang camp and it's going to be a very tough two-and-a-half years for me. i've got so many things to do and i hope to get through them all before i go in. time to get cracking. but first things first... time to get some sleep.