happenstance:
sometimes i can't help but wonder if this is the only way the world works. it just might be.

.photographs.indelible.undeniable. unforgettable.

flea: your photos.
nabil: yeah, that william. curious fella.
god: thanks for not letting me down. again.

okay, i lied. i'm supposed to be checking out my enlistment date and then checking my email for some important notices, but i decided to do this first. hah. unlike most of you, i've got my priorities straight.

i just got back from a surprise party for william kristanto, which didn't really turn out the way it should have cuz he saw all the eager beavers' heads poppin out over the rooftop balcony. anyway, sat around and talked nonsense... then we sat around and played some nonsensical games (which goes just nicely with the sorta things william likes to do) and then we sat around and watched nonsense (albeit often humourous (ie. scary movie 2)).. honestly, i should've gone to watch the fireworks at the esplanade. yeah, i know there'd be throngs of people crammed into every nook and cranny of that place, but it really seems worth it. the 'i was there' factor's pretty attractive too. somebody please tell me that i should've been there. compound my misery. please.

and why are all william's friends so rich? what's it with this ac thing? not just ac, actually. even the girls there were loaded. it doesn't really bother me that much, but it's hard not to notice how rich they all are. especially that girl mel thng. i got a peek at her bungalow/mansion/estate and it stands out among the already very outstanding houses of bukit timah (near where giri used to live - sixth avenue). i hear she's got quite an entertainment hub in there too. sadly, i'll never get to see the inside of any of these houses in my lifetime. unless of course i pursue a career in cat burglary.

thought of the day: why is it worse to die a quick and painful death rather than a quick and painless death?

ohkay. top ten list of the day/week/month/year (* delete where applicable)

songs i'm listening to now.
10. queens of the stone age - no one knows
9. elvis - a little less conversation (the original one)
8. our lady peace - 4am and thief
7. silverchair - the greatest view
6. paul oakenfold - starry eyed surprise
5. fuel - sunburn
4. pete yorn - for nancy
3. phantom planet - lonely day
2. creed - one last breath
1. smashing pumpkins - tonight tonight (thanks to nabil for reminding me why they're still the best)

go listen to this song by shankar mahadevan entitled 'breathless'.. it is what it says it is. he sings the whole song (in hindi) in one breath. and get this, it's about 2 and a half minutes long. great for show and tell.

anyone for an oasis concert? anyone? i'll even go with total strangers. really. i'm desperate. please.

cmon six degrees of seperation, work for me now.

this is probably my last proper entry before i head into the dark damp labryinth of insanity that is the A levels. everything else from now on will just be a little update here and there whenever i go to the school library (which coincidentally occurs with about the same frequency as halley's comet passing by the earth.) be prepared to wait, in other words.

got a little bit more on the maths of the six degrees of separation (which i'll henceforth refer to as sixD): "The "Six Degrees of Separation" theory can be thought of mathematically. Given that you have around 42 friends or relations, and that those 42 friends each have 42 other friends, and so on, without any overlapping, it can be shown that only six iterations are needed before you've got the same number of people than that living on Earth at present -- i.e. about 6,000 million." my bro (being worldlywise that he is), says that it only works for socialites or at least the average extrovert.. he says i could link myself to alot of people thru him, including our president (having met him directly), bill gates (through a stanford pal of his who lives nearby), bill clinton (thru his daughter at stanford).. so i just have to take every degree of seperation of his and just add one. for those 6th degree-ers..i just gotta find another pathway. HOWEVER, the thing that still eludes me is no longer the concept, but the purpose. what exact influence does the sixD theory have on us? does it make us more social? i haven't the slightest idea. it's just a really interesting theory that hopefully reminds us how small this world really is when we feel that everything's just too big for us. just too complex for us to figure out. just too much for us to take in in this lifetime. oh, and that everyone's family (just like the mafia.). i'll just think of it like that. i guess i'll just have to leave this whole thing at that.

i was reading through some thematic analysis notes for 'catcher in the rye' (it's by jd salinger.. go read it. it's an awesome book. just don't kill anyone after you do.) and i came across this: "holden explicitly tells us the symbolic meaning of the museum's displays: they appeal to him because they are frozen and unchanging. he also mentions that he is troubled by the fact that he has changed every time he returns to them. the museum represents the world holden wishes he could live in: it's the world of his "catcher in the rye" fantasy, a world where nothing ever changes, where everything is simple, understandable, and infinite. holden is terrified by the unpredictable challenges of the world—he hates conflict, he is confused by allie's senseless death, and he fears interaction with other people."

holden is very human. and if there's any part of him that i see in myself, it has to be this one. i was immediately thinking about what i wrote the other day about school, and his opinions on change mirror mine. holden says, "the best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. nobody'd move …. nobody'd be different. the only thing that would be different would be you." note that holden uses the second-person pronoun "you" instead of the first-person "me." it seems to be an attempt to distance himself from the inevitable process of change, something which i'm afraid i'll do more often that i'd like to when i get older. but the question that really bothers me is whether distancing myself from change is the right or wrong thing to do. i pray that i find an answer someday. i pray i never learn that there isn't one.

What Planet Are You From?

hmm.. emode says my IQ's 142 and that i'm a visionary philosopher. crikey. there's no better way than that to make someone feel old.

six degrees of seperation: apart from being the title of a movie starring will smith, about a stranger who gets into a wealthy family by using the ol' 'six-degrees-of-seperation trick' and pretending to be a relative. the original concept was developed by the man who invented the telegraph (and whose name i cannot remember, but i'm sure i've got a cousin's friend's uncle who knows him.), and it was that everyone in the United States can be linked to anyone else by six degrees of seperation. note that this concept was meant only for america, but it has been adapted and wrongly quoted as being a global phenomenon. Seeing as how most americans, especially a few decades ago when the immigration boom was still in its infancy, were immigrants from england and that they all originated from a small community (with the exception of the native red indians, of course), it is easy to understand why they can be linked by family roots via such a low degree of seperation. the nature of americans also comes into play here. making casual acquaintances is a part of their culture, i reckon.

somebody set up us the bomb.
i finally found it. the one that started it all.
the zerowing movie.
all your base are belong to us.

if you have no idea what i'm talking about, here it is: zerowing.mov

it's from a very very old game called zerowing on god-knows what sorta video game machine. it was originally in japanese, but when it crossed the pacific, they hired the most incompetent japanese translation team they could find and this is what came out. the most hilarious thing i've ever heard of. without a shadow of a doubt. this sorta messed up japanese translation was given the name 'engrish' and it's alot like the little worksheets we get in primary school that ask 'what's wrong with these sentences?' and has stuff like "piano and seat for sale by lady with four legs" and "remember to flush yourself after using the toilet." most of this nonsense appears in japan. all your base are belong to us is a worldwide phenomenon. it's my pleasure to bring it to you.

three (coincidentally, they're all very nice) people wished me a happy birthday today. denise, not unexpectedly, flea, not the opposite of the reverse of the negative of not unexpectedly (which is the way she thinks sometimes), and carol (most unexpectedly). never really thought she would, but she remembers me! haha. that obviously brought a smile to my face. a pleasant surprise, to say the least. other than that, a very normal day for me.

i got a slice of homemade irish cream chocolate cheesecake today and boy, was it good. denise is a master cake-maker. flea, if you're ever up to it, i'll introduce you... to her cakes. it's a world of it's own, really. i always get a taste, but because they're so rich, that's more than i ever need, actually. maybe we'll swap our biscuit for nydc next time. it's been a while since i've had an elephanccino (did i spell that right?). we'll just go see the cakes, okay? see no touch. or worse, eat.

farewell assembly's tomorrow. the last time i'm gonna see a school full of familiar faces assembled in a parade square. (except maybe during national service, when i'll be seeing a platoon full of familiar faces assembled in a parade square for many days to come.) i reckon i should miss the place, maybe even feel sad. but then again, this is the very building i've come to loathe for many many days over the last 21 months. the same people i've watched walk up and down the canteen aimlessly, searching for conversation, or at least a distraction from the monotonous chore of education. the same teachers i've mumbled curses upon, behind their backs, as they lashed hell upon my head with the fiery dance of their red pens. the same day i wished would end sooner, so that i may sooner seek salvation in the coming weekend, the sanctity of which has steadily grown in my mind. it's all the same. it's all coming to an end. is there anything to miss?

maybe. just maybe. we seldom see the magic of school, because, as usual, it comes to us in the smallest ways. school makes me laugh. at others. at the world. at myself, most importantly. i've learnt the power of humility there. laughing at one's self is fantastic. it's a liberating feeling. like freeing one's self from the shackles of society. breaking the chain somewhere and putting in your own piece. it's a great way to feel great and it's a great way to remind yourself that you're human. and that there's nothing more than nor less than you in this world. i've learnt alot about people too. what makes them tick. what doesn't. i've learnt why some people act the way they do. why they don't. why what some people do can't be explained, and for the sake of your (and maybe the whole world's) sanity/safety, shouldn't. it's amazing how many kinds of people you meet in junior college. it really is. i bet there're more types of people there than there're species of bugs in the amazon. it's really frightening, and i'm not even counting the schizophrenics with the multiple personalities that have their own multiple personalities. the insight and perspectives i get are great. i've got all sorts of friends. i've got a special one who believes people in cairo wear turbans, wonders whether sandflies can fly, and when told that i went to the UAE; Dubai once, asked me, "to buy what?" he's a nice, smart guy, but prone to asking questions that you could compile into a joke book.

by the time i get to the point that i should go back to rj to take a look around, they probably would've moved to the new campus. it'd be the most abrupt disconnection. unfamiliar surroundings once again. revisiting teachers would be like a 3rd orientation for me. things would be different. i fear that. not change itself, but the thought that i might have gotten it wrong after all. that everything does change after all. and that my memories of this place, the people and the poignancy of it all are gone, save for photographs that i regretfully i never took. hopefully, my friends have more sense than i. change, i suppose, makes memories more precious. i pray i'm wrong. i really do. i still have many things to learn. but for now, rjc has taught me well.